Move over the Onion

Apparently the Star is trying to take the Onion's place as the world's source of hilarious headlines:

Draw Something Crass

Correction

academician, n.

Pronunciation: /əˌkadəˈmɪʃn/

1. A made-up word with extra syllables to make academics sound more learnèd.

See also: ponce.

• For the record, I know it's a real word that's been in use since the 1600s. I still think it is silly to us a word like this when "academic" is perfectly serviceable.

What, each?

From the Toronto Star's website tonight:

Technology

My favourite thing about technology is how easy it makes bad parenting.

From the Toronto Star:

Also, does anyone really think that a kid who can download a full Bluray quality movie in 8 seconds is going to be spending any time at all in the park?

Fast Ford Nation

Inspired by top user comment on this Toronto Star article. Thanks to everyone in the lab who helped, especially Andrew.

Ford Nation Passport Cover by CJ Lee is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.

Worship This

According to Wikipedia, most municipal leaders in Canada are called "mayor". Some small areas villages and rural areas still use the term "reeve". There is one exception to this. Niagara-on-the-Lake gets a "lord mayor" instead or a mayor or reeve. This is apparently in recognition of the fact that Niagara-on-the-Lake was once the capital of Upper Canada.

Mayors in Canada are styled "Worship", as in when talking directly to a mayor you say "Your Worship" and when talking about a mayor you say "Her Worship" or "His Worship". What I would like is for Toronto to get an exception to this rule, the way Niagara-on-the-Lake gets an exception to the "mayor" thing. I think that present and future mayors of Toronto should be henceforth styled "Corpulence". As in "Your Corpulence, Mayor of Toronto, I am writing you to ask that you use the considerable weight of your office..." and so on.

I can't find out where these stylings come from, so if you have any information about that, please leave it in the comments. I asked a librarian friend and she didn't know either but she said she suspected that it's a matter of tradition and that the way to "officially" change it would be to simply get people using the term. So, I beseech you to use the considerable weight of your conversation to make my (admittedly petty) dream come true.

Newsflash: Toronto gets cold in winter!

Toronto has issued an "extreme cold weather alert" for this weekend. Because the temperature is supposed to get down to -18ºC. Seriously? There are cities in Canada that would kill for -18ºC right now (all below -18ºC at time of posting).

I think what's really going on here is this: "Alerts are issued to step up support services for homeless people..." Which I think is important. Minus 18º streets are not a place for anyone to sleep.

But can't we find a way to provide extra services for the homeless without sounding like a city of giant pussies?

Things That Make Me Smile

Classical music played on non-traditional instruments. In this case, guitar. Enjoy!

I Can Clearly Not Choose The Candidate In Front Of You!

Yesterday a long-time supporter of Joe Pantalone flopped and is now officially endorsing Smitherman for mayor. Let's forget, for a moment, that the opinion polling numbers are biased, meaningless and poorly reported and just remember that voting "strategically" is a good way to get a bad mayor while feeling really clever and self-satisfied. I think that saying "I think Joe Pantalone would be the best mayor but I'm going to vote for Smitherman" puts in you a similar position to the Sicilian from the Princess Bride. And we all know how that ends:



In any case, I'm with Janet Davis who said “I am strategically voting. I’m strategically voting by endorsing Joe Pantalone, the best candidate for mayor and for the future of our city.”

The WTF Economy

This article about companies that are thriving despite a bad economy is not improving my outlook on humanity. Company number 4 is Snuggie.

I think we have a smoking gun here: the economy collapsed because the education system in the US is so bad that people no longer know how to use a blanket by the time they reach adulthood.

Mmm... Georgia...

As discovered on This American Life's Georgia Rambler episode.

I think I have a bacon problem...

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Two links for your inner child. The first is Tiny Art Directory, where an artist does commissions for his bossy daughter. The second is Axe Cop, a hilarious comic strip written by a now-6-year-old boy and illustrated by his 29-year-old brother. Does using these kids this way constitute child labour? I don't know. But it definitely constitutes funny! Enjoy!

I know U R, but what am I?

Canada has two seasons: winter and construction. Well, it's not winter right now. This made me chuckle yesterday as my mind completely misread the company name on the shipping container on Kings College Rd.

Related link.

You Learn Something New Every Day

This is the best frequently asked question (and response) I have ever come upon (from the groupon FAQ):

One of your write-ups stated that "hummingbirds come from cocoons"... I'm not sure that's correct.

Thank you for your suggestion, but it is correct.

And if you don't know, Groupon is a neat service which uses "collective buying power" to get rippin' good deals. The trick is that they offer businesses a minimum number of customers to secure the deal, so if not enough people show interest (by buying the deal), no deal. Definitely worth looking into if you haven't already. Plus, really, what's one more piece of spam in your inbox each day?

Synthetically Delicious

Two days ago scientists from the J. Craig Venter Institute reported in ScienceXpress that they have managed to create a viable cell whose genetic material was entirely produced by humans. The AP has posted an interview with the namesake of the Institute (and the final author of the 24 on the paper) to their youtube channel.

I especially like all the Science going on in the background. People swirling flasks of brightly coloured liquid make me feel so much better about the whole thing.

Venter expresses some concern about potential uses for this technology. To that end, Longo's has released their very first synthetic life-form for solving the world hunger problem. I give you the pizzacherry tree:

The Invasion

I'm home sick today which means drinking lots of fluids, taking frequent naps, babbling nonsensically and reading the internets. Which is how I came across this:




This is how the invasion will come, people. First they will fire ziplines from one highrise building to the next. Then, the goats will carry their monkey assassins to their targets. You can never be too vigilant. Next time someone gets into your elevator with a goat, a monkey and a lot of military gear, notify the authorities.

On an unrelated note, please click the button near the title of this or any post I've written. The Flattr system is really cool; it's a way you can pay people very small amounts of money for improving your life a little. Totally worth checking out.

People Who Are Intollerant of Other People's Cultures, and the Dutch

Overheard today at the Publications checkout counter at Service Ontario: "Do you have any publications about discrimination?"

Imagined response: "Not for people like you."

---

Altogether now!

We all of us have our vices, not least of all me. Being aware, however, that I am subject to various shortcomings, I try to plan in advance for them; to trick my future self, if you will, into doing the right thing.

I would like you to, just for a moment, open your mind to the possibility that it (your mind) plays tricks on you. It's easy to admit that other peoples' minds play tricks on them, but I can assure, without even knowing you, that your own mind does it to. One category of these trick is Cognitive Biases. They are surprisingly universal. I'm not saying that every single person is guilty of every single cognitive bias all of the time. But it is possible to test how often they come up and under what circumstances and the answers are quite surprising to most people.

So it is important to be aware that these biases exist and that, without even knowing it, you may be suffering from one or more at any point in time. With that in mind, please listen to this song.

Next time you're absolutely sure about something, remember the song and think about which biases you might presently be suffering from.

Everyone is susceptible to cognitive biases.

Except for me. I know because the only examples I can think of right now fit my expectations, which are that I have no cognitive biases.