As today was Mother's Day, to maintain my position as the Good Son, I took a trip to visit the 'rents. I made my stepdad keep it a secret that I was coming. I got up extra early so I could arrive in time to help make brunch. When I got to their place, they were out on the deck having their morning cigarette. All my mom could see was that someone was walking up the driveway with flowers. My stepdad refused to tell her what was going on and told her to go answer the door. Given her unshowered state, she was not impressed. Until she realized it was me.
My brother, T, and his girlfriend J and her son T showed up a little while later. "Now all my favourite people are here," exclaimed my mom. I looked at my brother. "Plus this guy," I said.
It is sometimes traditional for my family to have caesars in the morning on the weekend. For those of you who don't know, this is an alcoholic beverage made with Clamato, spices and vodka. Before the Ts and J had arrived, my stepdad told my mom they were nearly out of vodka. "Maybe T will have some," he suggested.
"T isn't going to have vodka," my mom responded.
"I dunno, he's pretty responsible these days," returned my stepdad.
"So," I deduced, "being responsible means always having vodka on hand? I wonder why my morals are warped."